Products and Services Coming Soon....
 

Why fight the pain another day when there's fast-acting Arsenictm. The one-step solution for all of your problems. Unlike other medications, Arsenic tm will cure all your pain without side effects! And it works the first time too. It would take spoonfuls and spoonfuls of Draino just to get the effect of one tablet of Arsenic tm. Plus, you save valuable Draino that could be used to unclog sinks! 


 

Chewable Arsenic.

Did your life suck? Your death doesn't have to swallow. Due to breakthrough technology, we can now offer you the same doctor* recommended Arsenic tm in a tablet that tastes like baby aspirin. Flavors include grave grape, funeral fudge, and coffin candy.
 
 

NEW! Arsenic Mints! Get rid of bad breath.... forever

Experience fresh breath and death with new Arsenic tm mints! Next time you're mad at someone, just offer them a mint. That ought to cool things down. Arsenic tm mints also work great in a candy dish after you've invited a bunch of your worst enemies over.
 
 

You guys are psyshos, take me home NOW !!!!
 
 

Disclaimer: This is just an assignment for ENV E 231 - DO NOT take this service seriously. We are perfectly nice SANE students so don't sue please!!!!